Meltem's TV appearance

Today (Sunday) is the day, we theorize, that Meltem will appear on the TV show that interviewed her last week at baby class. So I'm gonna take my computer into the TV room and blog Meltem's budding stardom as it happens!

2:29. OK, I'm sitting through some dumb TV ads, including one for a "diet patch" that looks like a big square Band-Aid but supposedly suppresses your appetite much like a nicotine patch cures your jones for a coffin nail. Will people believe ANYTHING?? ... OK, now there's a cute ad for diapers with a roly-poly infant gamboling around a room. Yeah, well, I'll get the live version of this soon enough. ... Jeez, how many commercials are going to come between me and my honey's debut? That's the thing about Turkey (and Europe): They save their commercials for seemingly endless marathons all at once, rather than scattering them through your show here and there. That's fine if you need the time to make dinner (or read War and Peace), but it does make for lots of annoyance when you were just getting into the show, or when you're waiting for something to begin. ... OK, now we're into the "sponsor ad" (a blatantly CGI-enhanced "demonstration" of the cleaning power of some detergent – curse the gullible ruck!), so hopefully the show the sponsor sponsored will commence forthwith. C'mon, I've got an international audience hanging on here!

2:38. OK, the show is starting. It's called "Keyf-i Sibel," which is (Ottoman!?) Turkish for "Sibel's enjoyment." Sibel herself was obviously kind of cute once; apparently she's an ex-model. She's saying that while last week's topic was love, this week's is the "fruits of love," i.e. babies.

2:40. They're showing preview clips from the show, and I just saw Meltem! She was dutifully taking notes at baby class. He he, this will be fun!

2:42. Well, the show is starting with Sibel talking to some woman, Arzu Balkan, who is apparently "ünlü ve anne," i.e. famous and a mom. We're watching clips of Arzu walking around with other stars, moments from shows she's done, and her pudgy little infant. They're also showing other famous (Turkish) moms, one of whom said "Raising kids is hard." Naw!

2:45. Now the announcer is saying how if you think it's hard to be a working mom, just think how hard celebrity moms have it – the eyes of the nation (or at least the gutter press-reading demographic thereof) are on them, so they have to be on their best behavior! At least some of the celebs are giving props to their own mothers for being helpful.

2:47. Jeez, they just showed clips of someone I assume is one of the celebrity moms in question. A model, it seems, and a scrawny one at that; she was hoofing it up and down the runway in a bikini and her ribs were casting highly upsetting shadows on her flank. Yuck. I sure hope having a baby fattened her up somewhat.

2:48. OK, they're saying that Meltem's baby class is coming up. (Only they didn't mention Meltem by name. I may sue.) There was the same clip of Meltem watching as Ayse (the teacher) bathed a plastic baby.

2:49. Ewww, one of the upcoming clips seems to be a live birth, including a moment where they stick the camera right in the sweaty, exhausted face of the mother. Who says the media is intrusive?

2:54. Now Sibel and Arzu are chatting about their adventures giving birth... wait! We're moving to the "birth coach," Ayse Öner! And there's Meltem, looking very pregnant! Now she's talking into the interviewer's mic, explaining what she's learned. Wow, what a screen presence! She's explaining how the Internet is full of conflicting advice, and how learning from someone as experienced as Ayse was reassuring.

2:56. Now they're showing Ayse showing how to pick up the (plastic) baby. Meltem is watching attentively, but trying not to laugh, leading me to believe this was a staged moment. Or maybe she's laughing at the way Ayse coos and talks baby-talk at the plastic baby.

2:57. Now Ayse is giving advice to the fathers of the world, e.g. take the time to massage your kid in the evening. This is after you're done bringing home the bacon (er, lamb), I guess.

2:58. All right, we're back to the ads. I assume we've gotten all the Meltem we're gonna get, so I'll sign off.

Now we didn't find a way to record this, alas, but the network may put episodes of "Sibel's Enjoyment" online, and if they do I'll post the URL here. Thanks for reading!